Mindful Eating

#MindfulEating, and other power words I hear on the internet.

You hear all of these "power words", or that's what I call them. They are words or phrases that you hear get thrown into messages and conversations, a lot of it being on the web.

Words like: mindful eating, #sleephygiene, #emotionalregulation, #gratitude, and #digitaldetox.

We like to give these actions trendy names so that we can sling them around easier when we want to feel superior. I mean, sleep hygiene? No thank you, I prefer a bit of chaos before I hit the pillow. It really tuckers me out. I mean, who doesn't scroll on their phone until 2 a.m.? (I'm kidding... mostly)

Is this what mindful eating is supposed to look like?

So here I am, tossing mindful eating your way, not superiorly. The Webster's Dictionary defines Mindful Eating (noun): Realizing mid-bite that you’re eating like a raccoon on a midnight trash run—then thinking, 'should I be tasting my food?'

I gave mindful mindful eating a shot, mostly because it kept showing up - relentlessly. Not like how good intentions can come to you and gently nudge you toward self improvement. More like how a small child that wants to show you something remarkably unimpressive over and over again until you finally just relent and watch. And then you have to pretend to be amazed. It turns out, mindful eating was one of those rare kids where I was like, "wait, how did you actually learn how to do that?"

So to tell you about my mindful eating experience, I should first tell you about how I normally take my meals. One would assume that I take them quickly, chaotically, and without much thought. And one would be mostly correct. The particular meal that I performed this experiment on is breakfast. I absolutely love breakfast. And all of those people who are always saying "oh, I can't eat first thing in the morning. I just have coffee. I'm not a breakfast person." Those people are the ones who want to feel superior! I'm kidding again, of course--mostly.

I am pretty sure breakfast is my first love? I'm not entirely sure. But you know how rom-coms describe love? Like, you can't wait to see them first thing in the morning. You think of all the ways that you can enjoy your time together. You're thinking of them when you should be doing other things, like eating dinner. Yeah, that's how I feel about breakfast.

Anyway, I normally eat a simple breakfast of medium cooked eggs, whole grain toast and coffee with oat milk creamer. Not the most healthy, but not the worst. But we can pick apart the fundamentals of my food choices another time. I need protein for breakfast. I have a job where I have very little down time and I am constantly burning calories at a slow rate. If I have a light breakfast, then my stomach starts howling like a wolf into the ears of my massage clients. It's not exactly peaceful ambiance.

So I make my breakfast, then sit on my couch and put up a YouTube video on my phone. Usually something light, like people ruining their hair by bleaching it poorly, or some true crime. Just the usual stuff. I can't tell you how long it takes me to eat my food. I am normally sharing my toast with my dog, because you must pay the toast tax. I do know that I think I enjoyed it, because I am no longer hungry and that the video I am watching is still playing. That's it. That's my completely remarkable breakfast eating experience, and I've been informed time and again that it's actually a mortal sin.

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On the morning I decide to try mindful eating, I believe that my routine changed only because of guilt. I always have these great intentions of leading a healthier life. I have great intentions of having better sleep hygiene, regular exercise, and practicing "clean eating" (ugh, another term that nobody knows exactly what it means). Don't get me wrong, I am generally a very healthy person. I eat good balanced meals, including plenty of vegetables and fruit. I do exercise regularly, and I normally get 7 to 8 hours of sleep per night. At least I thought I was doing well. That's where all of these power words come in, that make me feel like I'm not enough. The guilt got to me on this one.

I decide to have something different for breakfast than my usual. I choose some cut up fruit, cottage cheese and some whole grain toast, with coffee and oat milk creamer. I sat on my couch and just ate. I didn’t have my phone nearby. No distractions. Just me and my food. And then something strange happened: I didn’t finish eating. I left half a piece of toast just sitting there. Uneaten. Now, you have to understand—I’m a child of the ‘90s. Leaving food behind wasn’t just unusual; it was practically a moral failing. I had a brief, irrational urge to wrap up that sad little toast remnant and save it for later. Because somewhere, there are starving children who would love my leftover whole grain toast. Probably.

Mindful eating resulted in me tasting the food I was eating and appreciating each bite. It was good! and then my brain sent some sort of synapse that told me that I wasn't hungry anymore. And the time it took for all of that to happen was about 10 minutes. During my normal routine, those synapses fire but nobody is home. I am thoroughly distracted. So there we go, I've proved all of the people preaching mindful eating correct.

Here's the thing though. I value my breakfast routine. I don't do it because I am stuck in my ways. I do it because I enjoy it. I enjoy the food that I eat, and there is so much power behind that. #Enjoy your food. I enjoy the small quiet mornings I have to myself, to do whatever I want to do because I am a woman who is working in a giving profession. I am constantly giving my energy to others throughout my day. To clients, to my spouse, to my dog, to friends, etc. There’s something deeply valuable about those quiet moments when I can turn off my brain, watch something that actually fills me up, and eat food that’s just for me. I’m not making a meal for anyone else, which means I get to choose. And if you’re someone who identifies as a #humangiver, you’ll get this: I hate making decisions.

I know my day will be filled with a constant stream of choices, responsibilities, and mental juggling. Sometimes I have to choose simply because I physically can’t do everything—and then I live with the consequences until the next round of decisions shows up the very next day.

So in that one sacred hour I get to myself, I create a routine. Something simple, mine, and predictable. And honestly? It brings me joy.

I believe there has to be a happy medium. When I practiced mindful eating, I did enjoy the food but not so much the experience. I felt like I was doing it for someone else. There must be a way that I can enjoy my routine and still get my synapses. So here is the hypothesis to the next stage of my mindful eating experiment. Just check in. I am not so set in my ways that I can't put my fork down, pause my video and take a sip of coffee and check those synapses. I can take a bite, appreciate the food I have in front of me and then go from there. I am sure some psych major out there is doubling down on mindful eating right now. They are ready to tell me that I am doing life wrong. That I need to #prioritze myself throughout the day. I get it, and I agree. It doesn't always work that way, and it's not that easy.

Mindful eating was great in all ways except for one, I just didn't want to. I am as guilty as the next person of bad habits, but the truth is, even if we want to change, it needs to be realistic. I feel all of that guilt for my choices because I am constantly being told I need to change my habits. And when I don't, here it comes. The guilt is mine and mine alone to deal with it. Don't worry, I am hyper aware and paying a professional plenty of money to unpack all of that with me. #Therapy is one of those power words I am going to preach to you. We can discuss the powers of therapy another time though. So I am making realistic choices. Small changes have big impacts, and I am telling everyone now, that happy mediums are profound. I believe I don't need to sit in silence to eat my food, but checking to assess how I am feeling is a great solution. The next post will be a continuation of this one. I will dive into #realisticchoices and get really science-y on how they work!

Thank you for reading about my journey on mindful. I am not here to pick apart others, and their thoughts and opinions. If my sarcasm and satire have come across as offensive, then I apologize. My intentions are never to harm, but to bring attention to things that have large impacts. I use humour as a tool to make things feel relatable and light. I fully encourage things like mindful eating, digital detox, and all of the terms used to make healthier life choices. I do feel like sometimes the internet doesn't exactly pitch it in a very appealing way. These are my own thoughts and opinions and I always welcome feedback and discussion. Feel free to comment below on mindful eating, or any personal journey on lifestyle. If you found this post to be useful or enjoyable, please feel free to share it with others. So until next time, take good care.

-Steph